Coming to you just a little more alive this morning and excited for the future. God is so good! I am so grateful that he has taken me from a woman who "would never be a stay-at-home Mom" to a Momma who doesn't want to do anything else but stay home. I am so grateful that he took me from a woman who "would never have more than two kiddos ('why would anyone want more when you already have a girl and a boy?)" to a Momma who has four and wants more, more, more! No worries, of course, I'm resolved to be complete at four, but I love that he's given me the Momma's heart that has the desire to grow us as a family.
Work. I tried work and it was okay but until I have to, I'd rather be here taking care of the home front with stress low, laundry caught up, and a happy Momma' to greet my babies at 4:00. June Cleaver I am not but I certainly do enjoy striving toward being the Mom that she represented.
Being at work takes time. Leave it to me to state the obvious, huh? On the surface it looks like it takes four hours three days a week, right? Twelve hours a week....a piece of cake, right? Yea, right. Actually, the work days started at six when we all rolled out of bed and I would typically get home about two or three. That was just in time to; figure something out for dinner, do laundry, pay bills, grocery shop, straighten the house from the chaos of the morning, spend time with Jade - who begged to read or play, and be ready for the onslaught of hustle and bustle that comes when the kids get home at four. Or sit on the couch because I stayed up too late the night before - depended on the day. In addition to my Monday, Wednesday, Friday commitments, part of my days off are spent loving on and and caring for Ellie Grace for Tabi. Caring for Ellie and helping Tabi are high on my list and I will not rest until Ellie has a Mommy who can care for her free of the governmental system that seeks to cripple women and ultimately their children.
Add to all of this our commitment to get Valerie off of gluten and casein and my hands are full enough without work. I was becoming increasingly overwhelmed as a Mom and we can't allow anything to get my panties twisted up enough to start being short with the kids again. They deserve so much more from us than that. But that's what was happening; behind on laundry, house not picked up, rushing here and there, yelling at the kids as we rush. STOP!!!!
I resigned yesterday. I think I could tell that one of the ladies was having a hard time understanding how twelve hours could get in the way of running our home. I don't blame her for not understanding; she's been working for thirty years in the same job. Undoubtedly she raised her kids as a working Mom. My hats off to the ladies who work and still manage everything family. But, for now, Scott and I will stick to the commitment that we made when Kevin was fifteen months old, a stay-at-home parent at all times. It, simply said, works better for us.
Making it through this school year seemed like a doable task until we decided to take Valerie off of gluten. Managing that task can be a full time job. Honestly, it's not the preparation but the hunt for the food that takes so much time. A wonderful woman, Mrs. C at school, is teaching me. She shops is approximately nine different locations to obtain all that she needs for her son. She's been managing a gluten free diet for twelve years. My ultimate goal is to take Valerie casein free as well and that will prove even more of a challenge.
Having a kid who is chronically ill takes time and that time has grown exponentially with this new diet.
Okay, off to clean before Ellie arrives in a little bit.
I have two more weeks of work. By the time I finish it will almost be time for our trip to Arkansas for Thanksgiving. I'm really looking forward to that!!
