My baby girl requested a haircut. A very big haircut. I would like to proudly proclaim that I never once tried to talk her out of it or tell her how she should get it cut. Yes, believe it or not, that is a big deal. I'm a little too connected to hair - hers and mine. Some families get great brains, some come out of the womb with athletic ability already guaranteed, but Maloy's come out with hair. Really great hair; thick, healthy, just enough wave and, in my family's case, blond (for awhile anyway).
Valerie's hair was, in my opinion, perfect. She could shower, let it air dry, and then flat iron to make her look really beautiful. In this humble Mom's opinion anyway.
Here she is the morning that she left for China - 6:00 AM at Tim Horton's! Boy, that was an early morning but I still managed to iron her hair.
She always liked it once it was like this but the problem, for her, was that she couldn't maintain this herself. It would take me a good twenty minutes to get it to look like this and, seriously, what twelve year old wants that much Mom action on her head?
Here she is just a few days after arriving in China.
Caring for her hair was almost impossible for Valerie because there was simply TOO much of it. It's really thick. She had mastered the pony tail, the sloppy bun, and a head band, but beyond that she was highly dependent. And she, understandably, doesn't like that.
She started requesting a cut so that she could take care of it herself and I readily agreed. Not because I wanted her to get her hair cut but because she wanted it. She needs independence, she craves independence, and I want her to have it. We went on the internet and looked for "short" cuts. She didn't know what she wanted but she knew what she didn't want and that was a lot. Before long she had it narrowed down very well. I stayed out of it as I flipped through pictures and she found this look.
These are the pictures that she took to Jessica (our stylist) when she got it cut.
(photo credits noted on the photos)
She came home from the hairdressers looking like this.
She said, "I am NEVER letting my hair grow long again. OKAY, Mom?"
"No problem, kiddo, it's adorable."
And then came the first wash.
It was no longer straight and in this cute bob. It was curly underneath again and somewhat wavy on top. Just like always.
Only this time she couldn't put it up in a pony tail, or a sloppy bun. She does look adorable in a headband though.
We pulled out the flat iron and I went about teaching her how to straighten it. To be honest, I think it's a little more difficult to straighten now than it was when it was long. Undoubtedly because we don't have the weight of her hair to pull the curl out anymore. She became frustrated, I got burned trying to show her, and we ended up just leaving it in a curly bob.
I think today, before church, was the first time that I've ironed it for her since she had it cut. I haven't ironed it because I'm trying not to obsess over it. If she wants it ironed she'll ask - and she doesn't ask.
After church today she, Kevin, Yitong, and Dad went to a self defense class. She tried to throw it in a pony tail to no avail. She did manage to get it into a headband though and she looked adorable.
Her hair is fine in her new curly bob. Just the way it was when it was long and not ironed. Fine ~ it's just fine. I've learned that I have to stop trying to do her hair for her and just make sure that it's clean. AND it's my job to help her realize that her hair is not what's important. Curly, straight, or in her case, both is just fine the way that it is. What matters is how she treats people, her relationship with Christ, developing a servant's heart, and standing strong in her convictions and beliefs. Those are the things that matter.
I'm sad that she didn't necessarily gain all that she had hoped to gain with her new cut, but I know that she's enjoying not having all of that weight on her head. Learning to take care of her hair will come with time. Maybe it will take a little longer than some of her friends, but maybe not. After all, as I look around, they're all sporting pony tails, sloppy buns, and headbands as well.
Something tells me they haven't mastered the flat iron yet either.
I love you beautiful girl. I love you with your long beautiful tresses, with your short locks, and I would love you completely bald. Because it's your heart that I truly love.
The rest is just hair.
