China Adoption....Our Journey to Jaden

A lesson in Chinese culture in the middle of my busy day....Thank you God!

Jaden,

It was four o'clock in the afternoon and I hadn't had lunch yet.  I needed to get away for a few minutes and headed out of the office to find something to eat.  I ended up at a wonderful Chinese restaurant down the street.  I walked in and took a look at the usually wonderful buffet.  It definitely looked like a 4 pm buffet.  I waved to the two gentlemen behind the counter and said, "Thanks anyway, I'll be back another time."  One of the gentlemen said, "Let me make something fresh for you.  Anything you like."  Well, okay! 

While the cook prepared my yummy Hunan Chicken, I checked out a case where they had giveaways displayed.  The sign read, "Free - if you buy for five.  Made by hand in China"  Seeing all of these items made me think of our trip to China in a few months.  The man behind the counter asked if I liked them.  I explained that we were planning a trip to China soon and seeing these things made me dream of the trip.  A wonderful conversation ensued.

He inquired as to why we were traveling to China and I explained as briefly as I possibly could why we were going.  He asked which province we would be traveling to and I explained the process a little more.  I did explain that we would be traveling into Beijing and leaving from Guangzhou but we weren't sure which province our daughter would be from.  He let me know that he is from Beijing.  After asking him, he explained how he came to live in the U.S. six years ago.  He told me that President Bush gave permission for students to stay in the U.S. after graduating from college.  He had been studying here.  He kept saying over and over, "I was one of the lucky ones."  I didn't dig too much on this but found it fascinating that he was focused on this. 

I asked his perspective on the "One child policy" and he explained it.  He said that if you have a child that is "flawed" you may have a second child.  I told him that I had 'heard' that in the city families are sometimes allowed to have two without paying a fine and he said, "NO! NO!  Only one child is allowed."  I asked him what the Chinese people thought of all of the international adoptions from China and he thought only a moment before he said, "There is only one thing to say about this.  She is a LUCKY BABY!!"    I shared that I have heard many, many stories of Americans being in China with their new children and people in the street repeatedly walking up to them saying over and over, "Lucky baby!"  His response was, "Of course, they are lucky and I am a lucky one too." 

I truly loved spending my time talking with him and was sad to see it come to an end.  As I left he said, "Enjoy your trip."  I told him that it was still several months away and that I would speak to him before then.  What he doesn't know is that I want to bring a video camera and sit and talk with him for as long as he would like and tape it!  What a nice man.  He speaks perfect English and could teach us so much!

Daddy and I do not believe that we have a right to EVER tell you that you are lucky to be coming to America or to be in our home.  We are blessed.  We are the lucky ones.  We believe that it will be up to you to decide if you were a "Lucky Baby."  I imagine traveling to the United States as a baby may be bittersweet.  There will be many emotions and feelings that you will need to process and sort out as you learn of your history.  We pray that you know how very much you were loved from the very moment that we decided to go to China to bring you home. 

The laws and traditions in China are, at best, "difficult" to understand.  My new friend at the restaurant did share with me that the government had to do something.  He said, "They have to control the population.  It is absolutely out of control."  We have read a lot, we have tried to understand the culture in relation to this issue and I'm quite sure that the mothers who abandon their daughters must love them very much.  We won't know much about your past but I believe that your mother was hopeful that maybe you could be one of the perceived "Lucky Ones."  Some say that we can't make that assumption but I don't know how we can't.  Leaving a child to be found carries great risk and your family must have desired a future for you to take this risk.  We pray for your parents.  We pray that they can have a peace in their hearts and know that you are safe and well cared for. 

We love you Baby Jaden and pray that you are playing with your Nannies and friends right now.  It's 10:23 am on October 22, 2005 in China.  Know that your new Mommy is thinking of you and praying that you feel my hugs right now!

All of my love and dedication to your future~~

Mommy

Learning about the Great Wall...

As we prepare to bring our daughter home, we are focused on learning more about her country and her culture.  Below is a small portion of what we have found, read and learned.  Thank you to the author, who is unknown. 

The Great Wall of China

The Great Wall of China, also known in China as the Great Wall of 10,000, is an ancient Chinese fortification built from the end of the 14th century until the beginning of the 17th century, during the Ming Dynasty, in order to protect China from raids by the Mongols and Turkic tribes. It was preceded by several walls built since the 3rd century BC against the raids of nomadic tribes coming from areas now in modern day Mongolia and Manchuria.The Wall stretches over a formidable 6,350 km (3,946 miles), from Shanhai Pass on the Bohai Gulf in the east, at the limit between China proper and Manchuria, to Lop Nur in the southeastern portion of Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region.

The first major wall was built during the reign of the First Emperor, the main emperor of the short-lived Qin dynasty. This wall was not constructed as a single endeavor, but rather was created by the joining of several regional walls built by the Warring States. It was located much further north than the current Great Wall, and very little remains of it. A defensive wall on the northern border was built and maintained by several dynasties at different times in Chinese history. The Great Wall that can still be seen today was built during the Ming Dynasty, on a much larger scale and with longer lasting materials (solid stone used for the sides and the top of the Wall) than any wall that had been built before. The primary purpose of the wall was not to keep out people, who could scale the wall, but to insure that semi-nomadic people on the outside of the wall could not cross with their horses or return easily with stolen property.

There have been four major walls:

208 BC (the Qin Dynasty)

1st century BC (the Han Dynasty)

1138 - 1198 (the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms Period)

1368-1620 (from Hongwu Emperor until Wanli Emperor of the Ming Dynasty)

The Ming Dynasty Great Wall starts on the eastern end at Shanhai Pass, near Qinhuangdao, in Hebei Province, next to Bohai Gulf. Spanning nine provinces and 100 counties, the final 500 kilometers have all but turned to rubble, and today it ends on the western end at the historic site of Jiayu Pass, located in northwest Gansu Province at the limit of the Gobi Desert and the oases of the Silk Road. Jiayu Pass was intended to greet travelers along the Silk Road. Even though The Great Wall ends at Jiayu Pass, there are many watchtowers extending beyond Jiayu Pass along the Silk Road. These towers communicated by smoke to signal invasion.

The Kokes Manchus crossed the Wall by convincing an important general Wu Sangui to open the gates of Shanhai Pass and allow the Manchus to cross. Legend has it that they took three days for the Manchu armies to pass. After they conquered China, the Wall was of no strategic value as the people whom the Wall was intended to keep out were ruling the country (becoming the Qing Dynasty).

The government ordered people to work on the wall, and workers were under perpetual danger of being attacked by brigands. Because many people died while building the wall, it has obtained the gruesome title, "longest cemetery on Earth" or "the long graveyard". Their bodies were not entombed in the wall, however. A body buried in the wall would have weakened its structure, so workers were buried nearby instead.

While some portions near tourist centers have been preserved and even reconstructed, in most locations the Wall is in disrepair, serving as a playground for some villages and a source of stones to rebuild houses and roads. Sections of the Wall are also prone to graffiti. Parts have been bulldozed because the Wall is in the way of construction projects.

The materials used are those available near the site of construction. Near Beijing the wall is constructed from quarried limestone blocks. In other locations it may be quarried granite or fired brick. Where such materials are used, two finished walls are erected with earth and rubble fill placed in between with a final paving to form a single unit. In some areas the blocks were cemented with a mixture of glutinous rice and eggwhite.In the extreme western desert locations, where good materials are scarce, the wall was constructed from dirt rammed between rough wood tied together with woven mats.

The Wall is included in lists of the "Seven Medieval Wonders of the World" but was of course not one of the classical Seven Wonders of the World recognized by the ancient Greeks. The Wall was made a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1987.

There is a longstanding disagreement about how visible the wall is in space. Richard Halliburton's 1938 book Second Book of Marvels said the Great Wall is the only man-made object visible from the moon. This myth has persisted, assuming urban legend status, sometimes even entering school textbooks. The Great Wall simply cannot be seen by the unaided eye from the distance of the moon. Even its visibility from near-earth orbit is questionable.

Thank you to the following site for this information:  http://crystalinks.com/chinawall.html