China Adoption....Our Journey to Jaden

A mysterious Ladybug sighting has occurred...

One of you reading this is an Angel.  You are thoughtful, kind, generous and sneaky!  How could you have known how much joy that Ladybug would bring us?  Before I saw this tonight we were still feeling the affects of the recent slowdown at the CCAA.  Sad, mad, hurt and trying to figure out how we were going to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.  And then Scott went to get the mail. 

This is what he found.  A bug stuck in the ground with a stick.  It doesn't sound like much, does it?  But it is.  In the China adoption world, the Ladybug is a sign of good luck.  I think it was made up by adoptive parents, but who cares. 

I've never really gotten into the ladybug thing.  I think that I was turned off of it when I saw one of those nasty, smelly brown beetles that resemble lady bugs plastered on someones website.  It was being offered up as a sign of good luck and was being called a ladybug by the author.  Oh no!  Those brown bugs live in our house by the millions every fall and every spring.  Ladybugs they are NOT!!  Since then I have smiled politely when folks speak of the ladybugs and the good luck that comes with them. 

Do you want to know the truth?  I haven't actually seen a REAL lady bug since we started this process.  We did receive a beautiful picture frame from our friend, Cindy in Arkansas.  The frame will sit prominently in our little girls room with a picture of her friend Elizabeth (Cindy's future daughter's name.)  That will happen just as soon as Cindy receives said picture.  Boy, have I digressed.

Back to my friend, the Angel.  At just the perfect time in this long, long journey our Angel friend decided to do the unexpected.  Place a little bit of sunshine in the ground next to our mailbox.  A ray of sunshine, a sign of hope, a sign of luck.  Whatever it was intended to be...it has put a smile back on our faces and joy in our heart. 

It may not look like much to you, but to us we see friendship, love, kindness, empathy and hope in that little bug. 

Now, the fun begins.  I want to know who this Angel is.  Call me inquisitive.  I need all of your help.  I am going to set my comments to accept anonymous comments.  I would like for folks to help me with this mystery.  Let's ask questions or give hints (if you know) and get to the bottom of this little bug. 

Go to the comments section and let's start talking about this.  We have a string of names in our heads of who we think could have done this.  Anyone of them is capable of being so sweet. 

Let's start talking and figure this out.  Post anonymously if you like.  Make up a name if you need to.   

And thank you, Angel!  We truly appreciate you! ;-)

Scott & Traci

It's even a little worse than we thought......

It seems that the CCAA is processing May 26th to May 30th.  Wow!!  Even less than we thought.  The emotions are overwhelming.  We'll find peace over the next several days, but for now, we're still in shock.  The feeling that prevails more than any other?  Feeling as if this is all a dream.  The process doesn't allow us to feel connected to anything here on earth.  Nothing.  Until her picture arrives I have to go into quiet time to receive reassurance from God.  Without that......it feels like nothing more than a far fetched idea....

Thanks for supporting us and for loving us.

Scott, Traci, Valerie & Kevin

From Mommy to Jaden....

Jaden,

I just read a pretty nasty rumor.  Some would say that I should wait to post my feelings until I've gained perspective and clarity.  I'm going to go against that idea and post exactly what I feel right now.  I'm writing for you, Jaden.  I'm writing to tell you, my daughter, how very desperately I want you to come home!!

I read tonight, from a friend, that referrals are only expected to go from 5/26 to 5/31.  I practically have my chin sitting on my keyboard.  If this is true, and it could be, then we may not see your face until late May or late June!!  Travel would be late July or August.  Maybe later!  Heck, at this rate we might even have to pack winter coats when we travel!!  Okay, that sounds like a joke, but is it?!  Good grief, how can we be so close and yet so far away? 

I would be lieing to myself and to you, Jaden, if I didn't admit that I have thoughts of throwing in the towel.  The waiting is unbearable some days.  The uncertainty, the lack of information, the thought that perhaps we misread the signs from God.  And then I get quiet.  I sit quietly with God and he comforts me.  I lay my head in his lap and he strokes my hair.  He quietly says, "Be still and let me."  So I take a deep breath, shed a few tears and quiet my mind.  You will be worth anything that we have to endure.

You are our daughter.  You are living in China right now, but you are meant to be here with us.  Your bedroom is ready, your clothes are bought, we have diapers to keep you dry and food to fill your tummy.  You have a sister and a brother that have so much to show you and teach you.  You have parents that have space in their arms and hearts that you will perfectly fill.  We have loved you since January 29th, 2005.  We will wait patiently for you to come home and take your rightful spot in our family.  We are a family of five; Daddy, Mommy, Valerie, Kevin and Jaden.  We will not be complete until we are all together. 

We wait.................with joy and excitement for YOU!!

Love, Mommy

This peaked my interest....

There is a particular blog that I read every single day.  (Actually there's five, but who's counting.)  Back to my point.....one particular blog blesses me every single day.  The author of this blog is not only an amazing writer but she is also an amazing person.  Do I know her?  Well, no I do not.  But after reading someones daily writings for eight months, I feel that I do.  We have communicated by email a couple of times but she's very busy.  She has a huge following and I don't know how she keeps up with her cyber friends with all that she has going on in her life.  Honestly, I'm blessed to be able to share in her families journey.

Today she posted about these word clouds.  Above is an example of one that was created on this website: snapshirts.com.  This website looks through our blog and creates the word cloud based on words that it sees in my blog.  Scott and I thought it was a pretty cool idea and decided to elaborate on it.  After all we have the ability to do the same thing, don't we?  We'll see, but we've had a great time putting together a better one.  We'll have to see if we can really do anything with it.  If nothing else, it's here for the kids to read:

adoption agency answered prayer aunts ava baby beautiful blessed blog brother bundys CCAA cherub child children china chinese community culture dad daddy daughter days decorating room dream dinner dossier dottie emma enjoy everetts FCC faith family fingerprints forever family FTIA fulps girls God grandpas grandmas great wall group grow happy heart history home hope house information incredible international Jaden jasmine journey julie kevin kids kimmie letters life little sister love mandarin matching room mom mommy months multi-racial family new friends orphanage parents passport patience people perrin pictures poynter pray province read red couch Remicks referral Scott shopping special Staubs steps story-of-you support thoughts time together traci travel trip two-at-home uncles update Valerie visas waiting families welcome white swan wonderful work yahoo groups…

                                                                                       

Journey to Jaden

OH MY!!  Well, it won't transfer well.  Hopefully you get the idea.  In the word document it is justified, Jaden is right in the middle of this shirt and it all flows.  We'll see if we can get this transferred to a couple of t-shirts.  I know that reading through this list makes us smile.  It's been a long, long 14 months but we've created memories and many friends.  (More about the friends tomorrow.)  It's been a lot of fun.  Let's hope we see referrals in the next week or so!  ;-) 

Traci

We've come a long way, Baby!

How do I know that we've come a long way in our Journey to Jaden?  Well, I woke up this morning to this email from our coordinator (who, by the way, is in Arizona.  I guess this is an automatic email.)  I'll take this type of email any way that I can get it....automatic or otherwise.  From the desk of Charlene:

Dear Scott & Traci:

Hang in there!  You are getting closer and closer.  I know it is hard to believe, but after you return from China, the wait will have been worthwhile.  You have come a long way and are within months of traveling.  Now is a great time to make sure your child’s Life Book is up to date and that you are getting ready for the trip. 

I continue to be ready to support you.  I also hope that you have a good support system through your family and friends to get you through this last waiting period.  I will call you as soon as we receive your referral.  At the same time, we will translate the information and let you know as soon as we are ready to send the referral information to you.  We typically send referrals to families by express delivery service within two to three days after we receive the referral.  As a policy, we do not scan the pictures or email/fax the referral information so that we can focus on getting referrals ready for all the families.

To keep up with referrals and to get an idea of where you are in the process, please continue to check our web site under Hot News for China Referral Updates.

I hope these letters have been supportive and provided some general reminders and information.  Please also know if ever you need anything, even just a little encouragement, you are always welcome to call or email me.   

Sincerely,

Charlene
China Coordinator 
www.ftia.org

Did you read that part about, "I hope these letters have been supportive...."?  Does that mean that we're far enough along that we can't even expect to receive anymore of the "We're here for you, hang on ~ your turn will come" customer service focused emails?  Does this mean that we are actually in the bull pen putting on our helmet and batting glove?  I think it does!!

Hang on to your hats everyone and keep your arms and legs in the car at all times....we're about to take a very exciting ride!!!  We're having a baby!!!!!

Jaden's very happy Mom!

I'm not doing so well staying away from the rumor mill....

Okay, so I am enjoying being away from the rumor mill........sort of.  I'm happy to be free from the yahoo boards and the speculation that is nothing short of made up.  But I am feeling a little lost.  There always comes a time during each month when it becomes apparent that the referrals really are coming.  Agencies start letting their families know that they are expecting referrals within a week or so.  The excitement starts to build and it becomes obvious that they truly are making there way across the ocean.  Will my June friends let us know when the word is out about that? 

Folks support each other by circling around those that will be receiving their child's picture.  Certainly, we will be involved in that and will have the opportunity to support our friends.  It's just that right now....I'm feeling a little out of the loop.  Are they speculating that 6/16 might be included?  Are they speculating that the CCAA will only go through 5/31?  I don't know the answer to that.  But the good news is that even if I did know what was being said on all of the boards, it wouldn't matter.  How quickly I forget......they are never right anyway. 

I'll continue to sit tight and wait it out.  I'll also continue to jump on anyone who I know is on the boards.  I'm attacking my friends with, "Have you heard anything?  What are the boards saying?" 

From what I'm being told........I'm not missing anything.  I keep saying this to myself, "Hang on, your turn will come.  Probably not this time, but soon.  Very soon, you'll see her picture."  So, to all of you.....tie a knot and hang on.  It can't possibly be long now. 

Blessings to all of you following along with us!

Traci

I came across this picture tonight on someone else's blog.....

I look at these children with a sense of wonder.  I scour the picture for hints of what their life might be like.  Are they tied to their cribs in this picture?  Or, are those simply a way of catching what comes out of their split pants?  They look well nourished.  They also look curious.  It's hard to tell but they look to be near a year old.  I just wonder, are their families on their way?  I will pray tonight that they are.  Good Night girls....may God bless each one of you.

~Traci

Poor guy.....he thought that he would be working today.....

This morning Kevin left with his Dad to work on one of the apartments.  He had his work pants on (holes in the knees) and he was ready to go.  Before he left I asked if he would like to take a coloring book and crayons.  "Nope, thanks though.  I'm working with my Daaaad today."  About an hour later I got a call from Kev's Dad asking that I come and pick up his boy.  Apparently, a bug settled into his belly and decided to interrupt the quality time that they had planned. 

He's on the couch and except for a few minutes of quiet rest, like you see here, he's pretty miserable.  Poor guy....we're rooting for you Kev'!  Get better soon!

Love, Mommy

Remember, every step counts.....

Wal mart brand diapers!!  Do you think Jaden can handle it?  I'm hoping at least one of our children can use the cheap stuff.  I've watched our friends buy the cheap diapers for years and I've been envious.  It NEVER worked for Valerie & Kevin.  They were Pamper's babies all the way!  They would blow out the sides of the cheap stuff every time.  So, I'm hoping that this time we are blessed with a little one that can appreciate Wal Mart brand diapers.  This is the first pack that we've bought.  I bought them last weekend, at the same time that I bought this lovely contraption made for mothers over the age of 40:

Can you see it?  Can you see the magnifying glass?!  How cool is that?! I love it!!  Thank you fingernail clipper manufacturers for recognizing the need that exists for us older Moms! 

We're waiting patiently and having fun preparing our home for Jaden! 

We promise to be just as excited for you, and your first diapers, the next time you plan to bring a child into your home! 

A note from our Family Coordinator.....

We were assigned a Family Coordinator by our adoption agency back in February of 2005.  Charlene is her name and she has been our contact through this entire process.  We receive emails from her occasionally.  We don't actually speak to her real often because, quite frankly, there is not a lot to talk about.  She doesn't have any more information than I have (or at least she can't share anything she may know or think.)  Occasionally though, she'll write to say "Hi and how are you?", all in the name of customer service.  And then there are times like this when she needs to kick us in the pants. 

You see there is a workbook that is 85 pages long that we received from our agency and excitedly printed off of our computer after our June 3rd "Dossier to China" date.  On that very first night we layed down in bed together and started reading and reviewing the book.  That was OVER nine months ago and we haven't looked at it since.  The books sit up on our "adoption shelf."  The important part of these workbooks, you ask?  Well, we are not allowed to go to China to pick up our daughter without having them completed and turned in to the agency.

Here's what Charlene wrote to me today about the workbooks.  I've included my responses:

Scott & Traci,

How are you?  We are getting close!  I know you must be so excited!

How are you doing on the workbooks?  Please get them in as soon as possible.

I'm gone next week on vacation, but if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact the Team.

Charlene

My response back to Charlene:

Hi Charlene,

Are you going any place wonderful for vacation?  We hope that you have a great time.  You've earned it! 

Workbooks.......the lack of our workbooks in your office does not represent procrastination in our lives.  No, what it respresents is a rebellious spirit in our hearts!  ;-)  Every time I read about those books, I think to myself, "Okay, I'll do your book, just as soon as you give me some hope that this adoption might actually happen in this decade."  Well, maybe I've exaggerated my thought in the spirit of humor but that has been our basic stand on it. 

I think it's actually time to do the books.  Thanks for the prod! 

~Traci
Smiling along with you! 

Charlene returned with this:

Traci,

You are really close now, you know.  I just hope they don't give us one or two LIDs at a time.  I think the next couple of batches are really going to tell us quite a bit as far as how they are going to be moving.

Heck...I love a rebellious spirit -- could you not see it in me?  But, my dear, there are those time when we just have to do what we have to do... that's the part I struggle with.  :)

I am going to Tempe, AZ -- I have a good friend in Law School.  She and I are going to Sedona and the Grand Canyon.  It is her Spring Break.  Good, girl time!

Take care and I hope to be talking to you soon after my return.

Charlene

Here's the last of these emails:

Charlene,

Okay, it's a go.  I'm pulling them out and putting them in a little binder for us to work on.  I only have a couple of chapters left.  Almost done.  Scott needs to work a little harder.  We'll get it out to you!  My commitment will be to get it on your desk while you're gone. 

Have a great time on vacation!  Your trip sounds wonderful!

I'm hoping to talk to you soon as well!  Real soon!

~Traci

I'm thinking that it's time to do the books......don't you agree?!  Great!!  More paper to worry about!! :-0

We're coming Jaden......we really are coming!

~Mommy