China Adoption....Our Journey to Jaden

I'm having trouble keeping my spirits up today. Tomorrow I'll kick these feelings to the curb, but for today, I'm feeling annoyed, mad, frustrated and sad!

I received the following email from a friend on our travel board today.  Just so you know, for anyone at our agency to say something like this they must have a knowledge base to support it.  Does that make it fact?  No.  But it does make me.........what?  Worry?  Cry?  Get mad?  Yea, I suppose all of those things a little bit, but mostly it makes me sad.  We simply desire to parent and love our daughter.  Some days this wait is absolutely excruciating!!  Today is one of those days.  Things will be better tomorrow.  ~Traci

(Sorry for the big contradiction from the last post.  Day by day..........) 

Hey Traci -

I wanted to give you a little bittersweet heads up. I spoke with Nikki @FTIA yesterday and she said the next batch of referrals might only be the remainder of May. In which case, we wouldn't get news until the batch after next, possibly traveling in late June early July. I don't know anyone else with LID 6/3 but you may want to pass this along just so we can all be prepared emotionally.

Thanks -

Temple

Would you like the good news first, or the bad news?

Hmmmmmmm, which would you like? 

Okay, good news it is!  In my recent predictions over the upcoming referrals I said that I didn't expect referrals in February.  For the past two years the CCAA has not sent out referrals after Chinese New Year until mid March.  Therefore, I prepared my heart for the same this year.  The good news is that I was wrong!!  I've always said that I wanted to be wrong! 

Agenices started reporting that the CCAA mailed referrals on Friday.  My guess is that they should start arriving in the states on Monday or Tuesday.  In addition, the CCAA has posted on their website that they have matched more dossiers. 

Ready for the bad news?  Okay, here goes.  They only matched from May 14th to May 25th!  (Remember, we're June 16.) Maybe dissapointing, but since I wasn't expecting referrals for another three weeks, I'm not going to be upset about it. 

More good news?  The CCAA is now only twenty two (22!) days away from our Log In Date!!  Wow!  That sounds close to me.............

Time for more predictions for our family and friends.  We are at a point now where anything could happen.  They could do another 10-15 days at the end of March, which would leave us waiting for late April referrals.  Or, since this last batch was so small they could match a little over three weeks and include us.  We could literally be 3-4 weeks away from seeing Jaden's picture!!  :-)  We could also easily be another 6-8 weeks away from her picture.  Either way ~ we win!!

We're having a baby and the Smith family is going to be getting bigger!!! 

Have a great night everyone and thank you so very much for your wonderful love and support!

~Scott & Traci  (Better known in some circles as Dad & Mom)

The "Cookie Mom Distraction" technique may be working....

Way back in the fall Valerie joined Brownies and I officially signed up to be the Cookie Mom for a troop of forty girls!  When I signed up I told the leaders that I might go to China during cookie time but that I wanted to be Cookie Mom if I didn't go.  My thought was that if I wasn't going to China during the winter then being Cookie Mom would be a great distraction.  Another Mom said that she would come along side of me "just in case" I traveled.  Well, since China is not happening before mid April, I am full blown into being COOKIE-MOM!  Wow! 

Scott and I own a nice size dump truck (can you feel my pride? ;-).  We went last Tuesday to pick up the cookies and completely (yes, completely) filled the dump truck.  Four thousand boxes of cookies to sort and keep track of.  We had a lot of help and Tuesday went very well.  Have you ever thought that you had complete control of everything only to see it completely fall apart in front of your eyes?  That's what happened today!

I'm on call this week, we started selling cookies at booth sales today, I have responsibilities at church and I'm completely overwhelmed ~ again!  :-)  What's new?  Well, I got up, went to work out and arrived back home by 8:20, got my shower and left to go to the booth sale with my pager on my hip.  I already had three patients to go see but thought that I could handle everything.  We arrived at Krogers only to find another troop there as well.  My Cookie Mom "boss" had double scheduled Krogers today!!  I had crying brownies and parents looking to me for answers.  Waaaahhhhh! 

After many phone calls, a lot of stressing and an upset stomach on my part, my work pager started going off!  They sent me absolutely everywhere today to see patients and tomorrow's not looking any better.  The booth sale was moved to tomorrow afternoon, we (Scott's now a Cookie Dad) have a multiple number of people who are wanting more cookies from us and I don't even know where to begin to find a teacher for my Sunday school class in the morning.  I have two patients that I have to see in the AM and a group of kids in Sunday school expecting me.  Waahhhh!

Are you ready for the bottom line of this post?  I don't have any time to worry about our referral right now..............MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!  ;-)

~Traci ~   Looking forward to meeting our daughter soon!  Oh, and Ben just called and graciously agreed to teach those awesome 2nd graders tomorrow morning!  Thanks Ben!

Rise and Shine Everyone.....Kevin's up!

It is 8:57 am and I'm well into another day of being short on sleep due to my daily dose of "Kevin Sunshine!"  I feel so bad, for me, that he was made to be an early riser.  (You should hear him say "early riser."  It's adorable.)  Honestly, he has always been up at the crack of dawn (or earlier.)  For example, when he was five months old he had us up at 5:00 am during our vaction to The Outer Banks.  He is always poised and ready for the day.  Well, we're not!  You would think that after six years of this we would be accustomed to the six o'clock hour.  Well, we're not! 

I'm really glad that he'll be staying with A. Sandy during part of our trip.  They are both early risers and they can get up and enjoy the sunrise and have some serious bonding time!  (He probably got this trait from her!)  Now, Mommy Bundy is another story.  No early rising going on in the Bundy home.  We'll let Tammy and Don work that out with Kevin and pray that he's no worse for the wear when we get home.

I have been out working for the past two nights after midnight and I'm dead tired in the morning.  All we ask is that he stay in bed until 7:00 am.  That does not sound too unreasonable to me.  And yet, it is soooo hard for him.  He's the kind of person that naturally wakes up and is ready to roll.  He'll never need java to get him moving.  His sister, however, will probably be a coffeeholic.  She needs incentive in the morning.   

Well, enough whining.  I'd better go find the coffee pot! 

I love my boy!  I mean my ray of Kevin Sunshine!

~Kevin's tired and irritable Mommy

Short, sweet.....and straight to the rumor!

Would you be surprised to hear that there are more rumors?  I read them and bring them straight to you!

The word on the streets (actually, the yahoo boards) is that the next batch of referralls will only go from May 14th through May 28th.  It's VERY possible.  The CCAA has been doing two weeks at a time for quite a while now.  If this is true?  Well, we keep waiting or throw in the towel!  And since our daughter is living in China right now, I think we'll keep right on waiting!

If this rumor turns out to be true then the batch after this, which could come the end of March or beginning of April, could be for May 29th to June 11th.  Leaving us near the head of the line for a referral at the beginning of May~ish.  Which would put travel near the beginning of July!  OUCH!!

I'm proud of myself.  There are Mom's and Dad's on the boards who sound as if they are ready to throw in the towel or slit their wrists, "I can't take it!"  "I will not believe it!"  Believe me, I feel their pain, I really do!  But the writing has been on the wall for some time now.  I'm proud of myself for somehow keeping myself grounded and focused on summer.  I think it might be working. 

I definitely want to go bring home our daughter.  I want to for many reasons.  Most importantly, I can't wait to physically love and parent Jaden alongside Scott.  In addition, I can't wait to see Valerie & Kevin as older siblings. 

These new rumors present us with a whole new problem.  It looks like we could possibly travel over Valerie's 8th birthday.  Dear God, hear my prayer.  Don't take me away from my girl on her birthday! 

Oh Great!  Something else to worry about! ;-)

~Traci

Dreaming of the homecoming.....and we don't even have Jaden's picture yet!

Jaden's picture is at least six weeks away.  That means that touching her, holding her and kissing her is about 14 weeks away.  (Just a guess......Spain didn't call or anything.)  Yet I still find myself dreaming of our homecoming. 

Actually, I've been dreaming of our homecoming since the beginning of this journey.  In the beginning I imagined a mob of Jaden's family members and new friends huddled together at the airport waiting to meet her.  I imagined Scott and I smiling proudly as we introduced her to Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents and Friends.  However, as the trip grows closer, I have started seeing things differently.  I see the large crowd and I'm happy to see each and everyone there but I'm realizing that when we walk by security toward the front doors of the airport terminal, we will only be looking for two faces.  This proud Mommy and Daddy will want to show off their new daughter, but not to everyone, not just yet.  Our Journey to Jaden will not be complete when we step off of that plane.....the journey will not be complete until we bring together our family of five! 

The scene has changed at the airport.  Now we see Valerie & Kevin clearly as we walk by security.  We imagine A. Sandy, Kari and Seth standing back taking video and pictures while we reunite with Valerie & Kevin.  We imagine spending those first moments and hours introducing Valerie and Kevin to the little sister that they had prayed for every night for four months.  The same four months that Scott and I stood by, completely unaware that our lives were about to be richly blessed.  After seventeen (17!) more months of waiting and praying, they will finally meet their sister and the answer to all of those prayers.   

After we have the opportunity to rest up and catch up with Valerie & Kevin then we will have all of our family & friends over to meet Jaden.  We look forward to sharing this experience with all of you just as soon as we possibly can. 

From the bottom of our hearts we thank you so very much for helping us to make those first hours at home special for our children.  Your patience and understanding are appreciated!

We love you!

Scott & Traci (Crying........AGAIN!)

Big Brother and Big Sister time.....

Sitting at my computer wondering what I would write about today, I could hear this conversation going on behind me:  Valerie:  "Pretty soon you'll be a big brother."  Kevin:  "I know, I can't wait." Valerie:  "You'll be a good big brother. " Kevin:  "I know, because I'm helping you now."  I turned around to check out the scene.  I barely caught it on camera.  In this picture Kevin has just finished helping his sister and is backing up from her.  What's he doing?  He was helping her put on her necklace.  Scott and I bought her this necklace not long after we decided to adopt Jaden.  She loves this necklace and so does her brother. 

Valerie thought that she lost this last week.  I walked into the dining room to find she and her brother with flash lights outside on the back porch.  They were franticly searching the porch and surrounding grass.  I asked what they were doing and Kevin said, "Valerie lost her 'Big Sister' necklace (actually, she just lost the charm) and we HAVE to find it."  Valerie reiterated the point with, "Mom, it's my favorite, will you help us?!"  I asked what happened and Kevin jumped in with, "It wasn't her fault.  I saw it.  She just leaned out the door and it fell off."  Well, we looked, we used every flashlight that we own and we were all involved.  No necklace!  I think Kevin was more heartbroken than his sister.  That's not to say that Valerie wasn't very upset. 

The next day Scott found the coveted necklace in the kitchen about 6 or 7 feet from the back door.  He put it back on its rightful chain and waited for the kids to notice.  They were so excited!  This morning they decided they had better keep it safe around Valerie's neck. 

It was very fun watching them be so sweet to each other.  We think they are going to be a wonderful big brother and sister!  Jaden is a lucky little girl!

Sitting back and watching with a smile on my face......Valerie and Kevin's Mom.

How sweet is this?!

Even though Sandy posted this in the comment section of the last post, I had to make sure that everyone read it.  This is getting so exciting!  For your reading enjoyment.......

I don't know how to interpret dreams but I had my first one of Jaden last night. ...a box with brown wrapping paper was delivered to my door with Chinese writing on it. I called Traci and (after what seemed like forever) she arrived at my house to open the package. She started ripping and tearing at the paper like a 4 year old at Christmas and I made her stop and open it carefully so she could keep the wrapping paper/writing for Jaden's scrapbook (sounds like our personalities doesn't it, Traci? :-).  Inside were a couple pictures of Jaden (what a beauty!) and a doll someone (her current caregiver?) had crocheted for her to have when she gets here. There were a couple other things too but I can't remember what they were. After we looked at everything Traci and my kids and I were jumping up and down hugging, crying and laughing--so excited to be another step closer.

~A. Sandy

We are so excited to share this experience with you A. Sandy! 

~Traci

I promised I would keep you updated....

Hear me out....I'm not telling you this because I believe it.  I'm telling you this because I have committed to keeping you updated.  And if I have to read this stuff then so do you(...don't say that! Of course I HAVE to read it!  Why?  I don't know the answer to that, I just have to.)

Have I told you about the folks in Spain?  Apparently, there are adoption agencies in Spain that the CCAA believe should be the first to learn of the CCAA's plans for upcoming referrals.  Every single month folks from Spain post information that they get from their agencie's websites, onto the worldwide groups.  This is information about the upcoming batch of referrals.  Half of the time they are close to right and half the time they are wrong.  (After all, it's just a guess!)  This month they are saying that referrals will be from May 14 through June 9th or 16th.  The hard part is listening to the grown people on our boards respond to the rumors!  "Oh, that's awesome!"  "I knew it!"  Yada, yada, yada!  Last night I read one girls response to the rumors and she said (paraphrased), "That's great news, Spain is always right!"  What?!  Are you kidding me?!  Someone please tell me that she's new to this! 

Listen, for my travel buddies who read my blog:  I am not trying to be negative.  I am right there with everyone in wanting the referrals to go well into June (the 16th would be fine), but the rumors that go around every month are nothing short of funny! 

Maybe I've been following the boards too long now.  In the past, I read them, believed them and have been dissapointed by them.  I'm done with rumors.  From now on, I'm sticking with my own dreams!  I think they are just about as reliable as the rumors from Spain!  With that said, it looks like we're having referrals at the end of the month and they will go all the way up to June 16th.  Hurry, spread the word! ;-)

~Traci

I wouldn't recommend stressing your kids out in public...

I hope that this makes you smile!

What a fun filled "preparing for China" day we had today.  Well, maybe not all fun, but definitely memorable.  We were all four out and about and had lunch at Bob Evans.  This is where we (read: I,  Scott wouldn't want anyone to think that he caused this) started talking to the kids about us actually "going" to China.  Don't misunderstand me, they have always known that we were going to China and that they would be staying with Mommy Bundy and A. Sandy.  But this is the first time we've said, "We will be getting Jaden's picture pretty soon, probably just before the weather starts getting a little warmer, and a little after that Mommy and Daddy will be leaving for China."  My goal in starting this conversation was to have them help me know exactly what comfort things would help them feel better while we're gone.  After all, I'm deep into the list making part of this journey. 

I actually thought that we were still far enough away from travel for this to be a smooth conversation.  You know how completely flipped out I've been in the past week, right?  I am really starting to go a little "pre-baby" haywire and looking back I should have chosen a different time (like when I'm less emotional) to spark this conversation.  My emotions stem from the thought of leaving Valerie & Kevin.  I cry every time I think about it.  I'm a very emotional person and crying is no big deal to me, but even I am getting tired of the crocidile tears.  Up until this point they have not known that I've been an emotional basket case. 

Everything started off innocently enough.  I brought the subject up and then said, "What kind of things would you like to take with you to help you while we're gone?"  I was sitting across from Valerie and I was looking into her face.  Very slowly it started.  Her eyes welled up, her face turned red and very slowly she was turning into a full blown "ugly cry".  She was talking through her sobs and said, "Why can't we go?!"  We couldn't even understand what she said.  I think we had her repeat it three times before we understood.  That's when my tears started.  Before long I was in a full blown "ugly cry."  It didn't take long before Kevin was crying, although to his credit, he wasn't full blown (I guess becuase he is a guy, he's able to have some control.)  Valerie started expressing concerns about Jaden not liking her.  Oh, it was so sweet.  We talked with both of them about the video that they will make for Jaden to see in China and about the photo album that will be full of their pictures for her.  We listed all of the reasons that Jaden will adore them.  And we explained why they couldn't go and how much fun they would have here with A. Sandy and Daddy and Mommy Bundy preparing for their sister. 

Are you curious about Scott's reaction to all of this?  He was quietly and sort of (as I role my eyes) discreetly cracking up.  He had a look on his face as he looked at me that said, "I can't believe that you brought this up here!"  How was I to know it would turn out like this?  They've never been upset talking about any of this before!  I'm sure our waitress thought that we had broken the news that our dog had died or something!

All of this did result in a wonderful conversation about what will make the wait easier for them.  The kids have given us a list of what they will need in our absence.  They would like to have a small photo album filled with family pictures, our pillows to sleep with, a couple of our t-shirts to sleep with, to go to Build-a-Bear to make a bear for their sister while we're gone (they'll give them to her at the airport), have journals where they can write to us everyday and two originals from Valerie.  She would like to make a t-shirt before we leave that has her "whole familie's names on it" so that she can sleep in it.  Kevin thought that was a great plan.  And she asked if we could have pictures made with a clip on them that they can wear on their clothes.  I envision having a family picture and a picture of Jaden laminated back to back and then putting a clip on it that they can put on their clothes.  Kinko's here I come.  I'm game for whatever works!

I'm going to take advantage of a lot of Julie's other ideas but I didn't share those with them.  I thought it was a good idea to share the Build-a-Bear idea with them as something to look forward to.  Looking back it was a bit of a hoot.  I'm sure it would have been better in our living room.  I'm so impulsive!

This is feeling so real today.  By the way, we bought five (5!) pairs of shoes for Jaden today at the resale shop.  I had forgotten what great shape little kids shoes are in when they finish with them.  They are so cute! 

Until the next emotional breakdown....

~Traci